Wanderlust or Wander-lost?

You might have noticed I take a lot of trips. Not fancy travel (although I do enjoy that too), but frequent weekend getaways. I joke with my friends that I’m “on tour”, and I’ve come to feel that I need these trips. If I don’t have one for a few weeks I get antsy.

Sometimes I feel guilty about it. Why am I always taking off when everyone else is content to stay home with their families? What must people think of me? Am I running away from something? Avoiding my responsibilities? Perhaps, but here’s why I don’t care…

I just love the feeling I have during and after a trip. It’s a sense of being totally expanded and opened up to new ideas, possibilities, people, and lifestyles.

Lately I’ve become increasingly aware of the contrast between being “expanded” and “contracted.” It’s a difference I can feel physically. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the trivialities of my day-to-day routine, the little concerns and worries and self-analysis that cause me to contract. My focus narrows, it’s as if I can’t see anything outside of my thoughts and mind-chatter. It’s almost like that feeling you get right before you faint, as if the walls are closing in, your peripheral vision is shrinking.

I had a great demonstration of this contrast a few weeks ago. I was out for a walk, and I was in this contracted state, totally consumed by the perceived dilemma or analysis du jour. I was all in a dither, and I recall asking for help from my “higher power” so to speak. “Show me what I am supposed to do,” I pleaded. Within a few minutes, I came face to face on the trail with a woman I know, someone I hadn’t seen in a while, and stopped to say hello. Very quickly into our conversation she shared that she had recently suffered a painful personal loss. I was stunned, and I offered her my heartfelt condolences, kindness and support.

As I walked away it dawned on me that my “prayer” had been answered. My focus had shifted completely away from myself and onto what I could do for another, how I could connect with and support someone else, what words she needed to hear. I had stepped outside of myself. I had expanded. It’s the same feeling when I am working with a client, and quite frankly it’s a f—ing relief from being stuck in my own mind!

So what does this have to do with my travels? In a way stepping outside of my physical environment also helps me to expand. And it certainly helps me to step outside of my mental environment. I get that physical sensation of expansion in my body, having met someone new, getting a glimpse into their life, being exposed to a different place or idea.

And there’s something so invigorating about setting out on a little adventure, leaving behind my labels (mother, housekeeper, ex-wife, entrepreneur, etc.). I get to just be me, and I feel like a sponge ready to soak up new possibilities. I collect them like seashells and bring them home as my little souvenirs. I like to integrate them into my life, whether it’s a new recipe, or an anecdote someone shared with me, or the inspiration that comes from having seen something extraordinary. It helps me to see what I want to create for myself.

I read a great line the other day which said, “Not all who wander are lost.” True, my personal home life has been through some changes, and that is a bit painful. There may come a day when I get the same fulfillment from hunkering down at home that I do from wandering. And hopefully, no matter what happens, I’ll master the art of maintaining that expansive feeling in any environment.

But for now this is what I need, and so the tour stops will continue.

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